Who Me, Patient?

Are we there yet?” This is the infamous cry coming from the backseat of any car filled with excited and, at times, impatient children.


Where might they have learned this trait? If we were to be honest with ourselves, I am sure we could easily recall moments of irritation and under the breath comments resulting from a delay in instant gratification. How quickly we show our annoyance when having to wait. We do not always practice patience and often do a poor job training our children this same virtue.

Living in a fast-paced society, people expect instant gratification. We like our food fast, our packages expedited, and our communication unlimited. Society is ruled by time versus having dominion over it like we were originally intended. There is no lack of time in the kingdom.

According to Webster, “patience is accepting pains or hardships calmly or without complaint.”

Being patient means waiting without complaining. If I am busy complaining about the long lines, traffic, and the way others do things, then I am not demonstrating love. In recent post I have shared about my journey towards becoming a more loving person. It is my desire to understand what love looks like and to live from this place.

1 Corinthians 13:4 “LOVE is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in LOVE.”

Gary Chapman in his book, Love As A Way of Life, defines patience as “accepting the imperfections of others.”  We are all in the process of growing and maturing. Throughout this process, I often find it hardest to be patient with myself. Consequently, this results in less patience for others. I like what William Gurnall said, “Christ bears with the saints’ imperfections; well may the saints one with another.” To combat this I have been intentionally giving myself permission to be patient with myself. Surprisingly, as I have practiced patience, I have experienced greater peace and joy.

Five things I am intentionally practicing in order to become more patient:

  • I am choosing to be more patient with my imperfect self.
  • I’m learning to let little annoyances stay small.
  • I try to use words in a softer tone that are both uplifting and kind.
  • I remind myself that people are imperfect and in their own process. This helps me stress less.
  • I do my best to listen to people with a goal of understanding versus agreeing.

We love others to the same degree that we love ourselves. I held myself to such a high standard of excellence and performance that I wrongly sought the same in others. My self talk and negative thoughts were also a good indicator that I had little tolerance for my imperfections.  Condemning words such as: “I can’t believe you did that again. That was so dumb. You’re a total mess up. You call yourself a Christian?” As you can see, it is easy to become your own worst critic.

Instead of buying into the negative self-talk, it is beneficial to look at how far you have come and recognize the growth.  The more I intentionally do this, the less anger is able to rule my heart and the more I am able to see myself through the eyes of perfect love. This revelation spills over onto others and allows me to freely share the love that I have experienced.

Share some ways you practice being patient or share a story where being patient affected others or an outcome.



Lovingly Lavishly, Let The Journey Begin


Since 2011 I have been on an intense love journey.  My desire has been to be an authentic and over the top lover of others. This quest has driven me to better understand what love is and isn’t in order to love well. Earnestly I’ve petitioned God to reveal love to me only to see some extraordinary exhibits of love by others. Love is not merely an emotions it’s an action.  I’ve come to realize that the key to finding joy in loving others is found in giving it away without any strings attached or hidden expectations. Ha! it’s amazing how when we focus on loving others we receive so much more in relationships. This search has lead me to read various books about love.

  • The Bible, searching out the various verses on love
  • Love Is A Decision by Gary Smalley
  • Love Does by Bob Goff
  • Love Is A Verb and The Five Love Languages by Gray Chapman
  • Crazy Love Francis Chan
  • Compelled by Love by Heidi and Roland Baker

If you have any recommendations please share them with us.

One book that has resonated with me and I’m actually reading it a third time, is Love As A Way of Life, Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life by Gary Chapman. Wow! I have found so much to glean from this book.   On 2/5/14 I began a book study with the precious moms group I am humbled to share life with.  Also my twelve-year-old daughter and I are going through the book together.  My hope is others will join me on this journey sharing their insights, why?

Love is applicable and transcends ALL of our relationships.

Dr. Chapman identifies the following seven characteristics of a loving person.  I will delve into each character trait focusing on two traits monthly giving some time to implement each trait. I hope you will share your stories.

  • Kindness – February
  • Patience – March
  • Forgiveness – March
  • Courtesy – April
  • Humility – April
  • Generosity – May
  • Honesty – May

Many life stories of ordinary folks are included in each chapter to show how simple it is to love others. Please share your personal stories at Loving Lavishly. You will also find practical ideas on how to develop these characteristics in your own life and I am certain we each have practical ideas to share at Loving Lavishly  It’s easy to read a book and feel discouraged or inadequate but I encourage you to seek God.  Allow Him to highlight the areas where growth could take place. We are all in process.  I’m still learning and growing myself in so many ways.

Join me over at Loving Lavishly, as I will post notes, stories, quotes, and more importantly hope others will share act of lavishly loving others. Together let’s grow in love.

In the book you will find that each chapter contains the following:

  • Questionnaire to challenge you to think through how each traits is shown in your life.
  • Definition is given of each character trait in the context of authentic love.
  • Habits to acquire provides various ways ideas of how to practically apply a particular trait.
  • Competitors are the various things that work against us loving well, such as our emotions, weaknesses, circumstances, etc..
  • What would your relationship be life if … This section is found at the end of each chapter and designed to help you consider how small changes in your relationships can provide positive results.
  • Making it Personal are reflective questions as well as practical ways to implement a character trait.  This is where I hope we will share ways we are being a more loving persons through our actions.

So join me over at Loving Lavishly.  Let’s begin to grow in love together in small ways.