Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. I will not lie that this week I have found it hard to rejoice God in all things. I have shed more tears than I ever thought possible. I have been counseled by some to let go and others say be joyful. Honestly, I go between the two but I must refocus my thoughts on God’s past goodness. So why the “boat load” of tears and the title ” terrible, horrible, very bad week”?
Monday I received the news that my dad’s cancer is quickly spreading and is now located in the liver. He is in stage 4. Their hope is that the cancer will not go below T11 in the spine as that is when you loose bladder control. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jamesbienvenu
Tuesday we decided that it would be best to drive to La. for Christmas so I can spend some time with my parents. Traveling during the holidays is always stressful for me but add a move on top of that! Obviously this is not the Christmas I had envisioned. Where is the peace and joy I desired to rest in?
We called the potential buyer for BiM as we had not heard an update and they basically told us they have decided to wait until Jan/Feb to make a decision. Things could have been so much smoother had they had the integrity to call us when they started down that road. Thus more WAITING!!! In my mind it is time to move out of our 1300 sq. ft. apt. and reclaim all of of our possessions in storage as five months is long enough. I’m not quite sure what God was desiring for us to learn from this experience. On the bright side it will be great fun when we go though our 3 storage units and get our winter clothes, pot & pans, etc… I am sure it will be a purging process as if I can do without something for 5 months as chances are I do not need it. Since Wed. we have been scrabbling to find a house to lease for 6-9 months. The house I decided on when we contacted the agent had a contract so we had to look again. Thankfully we signed papers today on one in Mueller and hope to hear a yes back today. I feel a little fearful we will not get it given the week.
On Wed. I brought our cat Tigger to the vet since we are going out of town and I sensed something was not right. After lots of tests an x-ray showed a tumor. Needless to say this now created lots of emotional upset. The girls could not put the cat to sleep unless they knew for sure they had done everything for her. Thus the vet sent the cat home that evening as surgeries are done on Friday. Once we entered the house the cat could no longer walk without falling over which created more sadness for all of us. However, the girls never lost hope that things would be ok. So when the call came today at noon that Tigger had pancreatic cancer and her life was indeed over incredible sadness overcame us all. You never realize the love you have for a pet until she’s gone. Cayley is thankfully at a friends and I hope we can all be strong for her as she is has had trouble sleeping and crying at just the thought of the cat dying.
We finally got our van back this week from an accident we had coming back home the weekend before Thanksgiving. It took 4 weeks to fix the sliding door and passenger door. The driver had been drinking and lost control of his SUV plus had no insurance. I praise God every time I think about this incident as we were surely spared from far greater tragedy given the speed and drinking being involved.
Jon’s hard drive crashed Wed. but thankfully was under warranty and the list of small and usually overlooked irritants all were magnified given the already heavy load on my plate.
We leave tomorrow for Louisiana to be with our parents. It will be nice to get away. I am thankful for the season to daily redirect my focus from me to He who came as a child to die a sinners death. Jesus is the reason for the season. Below is a devotion I recieved earlier this week that has provided much comfort.
Being an Overcomer
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
“How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Ps 13:1-2).
Have you ever heard someone jokingly say, “It’s not easy being me?” This expression is poking fun at their unique personality or challenges they face in life. Well, it wasn’t easy being King David.
His life was a life of extreme highs and extreme lows. He was a shepherd, a political leader, a builder, a prophet, a businessman, a warrior, a lover, a giver, a murderer and a worshiper. He must have been criticized by others as being hypocritical in his early career. In each of these roles he achieved things for God but he also failed God on many occasions. He had a creative-type personality, which is often very passionate with many mood swings. We see this side of him when he unabashedly danced before the Lord in front of his subjects almost naked (2 Sam 6:14).
When David wrote his psalms he was honest about what he was feeling. When he feared his enemies he expressed it. When he could not understand why God was silent, he expressed it as in the psalm above.
However, David never stayed in the place of despair. He often ended his psalms like this one. “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me” (Ps 13:5-6).
David chooses to focus on what God has done for him, not what He has not done. If you are waiting for a breakthrough with God, be honest with Him about your hopes and dreams. However, also affirm your faith and trust in Him to accomplish His purposes through your life. Be an overcomer.