Let’s Talk Sex – Who Me?

So many helpful resources. These are just a few from our library.

So many helpful resources. These are just a few from our library.

Last month, I was talking to my daughter, Courtney, sharing that I had been invited to speak to a group of moms from a local private school. I would be sharing with these ladies the importance of teaching our children about sex.  The mom who invited me had heard me give this talk back in 2007 the school our youngest attended. This friend’s eldest child was in first grade and she was greatly influenced.  Courtney shared how grateful she was that we had been so open and honest in regards to having candid sex talks with her as she knew many peers who were not comfortable about the topic of sex and/or their sexuality as their parents were challenged in sharing.  acquistare vardenafil senza ricetta Napoli  I am grateful that I did not allow my past hurts and failures in this area to paralyze me from sharing with my daughters and others as talking about sex has been an incredible opportunity to develop a rich and rewarding relationship with each daughter plus other gals I have been privileged to mentor. 


When I was conceived, my parents were merely dating and forced into a turbulent marriage that last six years.  My biological father desperately desired a son and missed out on relationship with me because of his male chauvinistic tendencies.  I never understood why I felt inferior as a female which  became clearer when I was given my baby book where I found a signature card signed by my father reading “ maybe we’ll have better luck next time.” I struggled with my personal identity well into adulthood until I found my true DADDY, God who loved and chose me at the age of 25. Until that time I doubted my worth as I had been rejected and suffered emotional, verbal and sexual abuse.  Even though sex was not discussed I knew a lot at a very young age which was confusing.  Children who struggle with rejection tend to seek love in unhealthy relationships without really understanding what love is, as was so with me.   My hurt was deep and caused me years of pain.

god is love

In 1985 I married my husband who has loved me extremely well over the last 30 years. Together we have learned what love truly is.  1 John 4:8 “anyone who does not love does not know God, because click http://cinziamazzamakeup.com/?x=comprare-viagra-generico-50-mg-pagamento-online-a-Verona God is love.”  God love me unconditionally. Having put my faith in His love was the beginning of my emotional healing.  I also sought professional counseling on my road to wholeness.  Today I know that enter ALL things work together for good. http://cinziamazzamakeup.com/?x=comprare-vardenafil-online-sicuro-Liguria http://cinziamazzamakeup.com/?x=prezzo-viagra-generico-pagamento-online-a-Venezia  My past is a beautiful part of God’s story of hope, love, and redemption.  When I became a mom I became hyper diligent in protecting my children so sought ways to protect them physically and emotionally.  So for many, many years this topic has fascinated me.

So what qualifications do I have to talk about sex?  I have read many books and articles on this topic as I sought to obtain a biblical and healthy view regarding sex to reeducate myself and share with my children. I’m far from being an expert but levitra generico dosaggio I believe more so today than ever, parents need to be having “the talk” in an ongoing conversation that starts early as we are living in a sexually saturated world. My husband and I lead couples through an intense premarital curriculum and also do lay marital counseling.  We are no longer surprised by what we hear.  I have spoke to several moms groups on this topic and always have mom who has not had the talk with their teens. Let’s just say I am passionate about equipping others.   viagra tablets purchase My desire is to help others protect their child’s future health and happiness both emotionally and physically.  My hope is to take away the fear and help you start an ongoing, honest dialogue with your children so they will one day say, “thank you mom for teaching me about God’s view of sex,” like my daughter did.  

Thus I began a series “Let’s Talk Sex.”  It will probably end up being about 12+  post which means one to two each week.   I will address what to focus on among the various ages groups (2-5, 5-8, 8-11, 11-14, and 14+), plus share my thoughts about the influence media has on our children.  I will share about how we did our daughters purity parties and much more.

comprare levitra senza ricetta Firenze  If you have any specific questions or suggestions please let me know as I hope to make this informative and interactive.  



An Awaking to Vulnerability

Photo by Caryn Noel @ http://www.carynnoel.com/

Opening ourselves up leads us to deeper, more intimate relationships, but it is dependent on us being vulnerable.

Have you ever noticed that when we open ourselves up to one another it often leads us to a deeper, more intimate place and that being vulnerable is essential to connecting? Dr. Brene Brown, Professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, explains this phenomenon: “Vacillating between I am here and I love you…and I’m going to reveal my innermost to you…and I am scared to death that you’ll reject me.” Ironically, the vulnerability we try desperately to avoid may be the key to a successful relationships.

What does it look like to be vulnerable? Honestly, I’ve been doing some soul searching to better understand and grow in this area myself, especially since it has come up numerous times in the last three months. Yes, God has my full attention as I hope I have yours. 😉

In August I had someone review my blog as my desire is to be the best at whatever I do. Surprisingly, the feedback I was given said, “your writing is authentic but see you are not vulnerable.”

My initial response was, “Why of course I’m not vulnerable, it’s scary and I’ve been burned too many times.” Because of previous hurts I had erected a wall of protection around my heart. While trying to appear perfect and having it together, or intelligent in order to connect with others, that actual pretense tended to have the opposite effect. Fear makes it hard to be authentic. (Fear becomes an obstacle in creating authenticity and connectedness.)

Our culture bombards us with messages to be strong, bold, and powerful while frowning upon being vulnerable. However, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, rather it is understanding our identity in Christ as God created us to be without pretenses. It is in acknowledging our weaknesses that God is able to work in our life, for His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Last weekend I attended the Idea Camp on Human Care, where Mark Horvath shared how being vulnerable was one of the most profound lessons he had ever learned and suggested that we listen to Dr. Brené Brown’s audio tapes. In fact, several other speakers mentioned the importance of being transparent. Yes, God has captured my attention. Daily I am asking Him to show me what vulnerability really looks like and what messages are lies I have come to believe.

As I reflected on my childhood and past hurtful relationships I realized some of my faulty thinking, “I have to be perfect” and “I should only share pleasantries.” I was unable to turn off the broken records that fill my head with messages like “You’re not good enough” and “What will people think?” These messages were impeding me from fully connecting with others for fear that I would mess up or be rejected, as I have experienced abandonment issues in the past. I had considered abandoning this article out of fear of being too real, too vulnerable. However, God has had me on a love journey and is continually showing me the areas in my life where I need to be more open to fully love others.

I like what C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

If connection gives purpose and meaning to our life I feel that social media is breeding a false sense of being connected as the underlying premise that interacting with more people is better. Jay Baer said, “Fundamentally, technology and our use of it isn’t – as we’ve all hoped – bringing us closer together. In fact, it may be driving us farther apart, as we know more and more people, but know less and less about each of them.” Our computers, Smart Phones, iPad, etc allow us to hide behind a screen and never truly be known.

I’ve only watched a few Ted Talks, one of which was Brené Brown’s, The power of vulnerability.” She defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.

WOW! I want all of these.

If you haven’t listened to this talk, I highly recommend it as there is a reason that more than 10 million have listened to it. Next week I will share what stood out to me plus a few ways I personally plan to be more vulnerable.

Do you struggle with being vulnerable? If so, what has it cost you?