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Be Teachable, 10 lessons I Have Learned – Part One

Recently I was asked to share some of my testimony with a Mom to Mom group and decided to interweave a few life lessons.  Being invited to share always brings about mixed emotions.  On one hand, I am thrilled to share but yet I am overwhelmed by fear.  Also, almost every time I agree to share, I have the craziest things go down and this time it was literally me.  I was outside talking on the phone and stepped on a huge manhole cover that was not level and forcibly fell on my right leg leaving me with two huge bruises and a cut knee.  I also experienced whiplash and for days I could hardly lift my head as I had tweaked it. The phone survived it all without a scratch.

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Lesson 1: Always be Teachable

If you are going to speak for a group you need to know what they are about so I googled “Mom to Mom” and read that this organization was a biblically-based parenting program designed around the Titus 2:4 concept of older women teaching and encouraging younger women in the relationships with their husbands and children.

I certainly qualified as older, having been married for over 32 years with three daughters aged 29, 26, and 16.  However, I want you each to remember that you qualify as older to others and that we all have life lessons plus experiences which can inspire, encourage and direct others.  Part of being teachable is realizing we don’t know it all so it’s important to seek ways to surround yourself with people, books, conference, etc.  from whom you can learn. Life is one big lesson after another when you are teachable.

Lesson 2: You Are NOT an Accident

This truth was hard for me to believe as I was given the opposite message for most of my life. My parents were not married when I was conceived. However, I was part of God’s purpose, as there may be accidental parents, but there are no accidental births.  My life was not a surprise to God. He had my life planned long before I was born.  “Long before [God] laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love . . . Ephesians 1:4 (MSG)”

 

Lesson 3: God is faithful

An unplanned pregnancy, being female instead of the wanted male, and a forced marriage, created lots of conflicts, hardship, and bitterness between my parents which inevitably lead to their divorce when I was seven. Life was hard and chaotic!!!  My mom did her best to provide as a single mom living off welfare and working hard.  I had a few learning differences such as ADD and anxiety while growing up thus making my life doubly challenging.  We moved a lot during grade school.  My mom remarried when I was almost 13, I felt that my younger sister and I were seen as the extra baggage as we were not invited to the wedding. Because of the neglect and lack of belonging in my childhood, I grew up feeling unloved and struggled with trust, insecurity, and abandonment issues.   I was an angry young person. In fact, when I began counseling I was told I had only two emotions – anger and neutral. Through God and dedicated work on my part, I was able to learn the gamut of other emotions.

Lesson 4: Hurt people will hurt people (even themselves)

During my college years, I struggled with loving myself and made many poor choices in regards to the guys I dated as several were abusive thereby perpetuating my insecurity and lack of self-worth. Seeking to numb the pain, I drank and experimented with drugs to escape.  I turned my anger inward becoming anorexic, as my weight was something only I could control giving me a false sense of power. Did you know that others will not love you any more than you love yourself? 

Lesson 5:  Your past, need not dictate your future as God is our Redeemer

It was only 20 short years of my life that were used for my good and His purposes.

Joel 2:25 I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…

Eventually, I met an amazing man who was unlike the previous guys I had dated.  Jon saw many beautiful things in me. His kindness, generosity, and love began to fill my empty emotional cup. He became my husband in 1985 when I was 22 and he was 23.

Just recently I had an aha moment, thanks to Brene Brown’s newest book, Braving the Wilderness, The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand I Alone. Crazy but for most of my pre-adult life I never felt like I truly belonged anywhere which caused great pain and personal suffering in my life. Brene goes on to say that “not belonging in our families is one of the most dangerous hurts. That’s because it has the power to break our heart, our spirit, and our sense of self-worth.” This was true for me.

However, when I married Jon, I found a place of belonging as I had the family I sought as a child.  I saw and experienced unconditional love. I was warmly welcomed into this new family. An added bonus for Jon and I was getting married on his parents 25th wedding anniversary thereby allowing us to experience many shared moments celebrating our anniversaries together.

Entering marriage with an empty emotional cup and little trust or confidence in my role to ever be a good wife and mother produced much fear.  Unknowingly, I had made Jon, my god as I did not know the true God.  Thankfully, God intervened in 1987 when both Jon and I made the most life-changing decision by accepting a relationship with Christ (24) through a home visitation. I now had another place of belonging.

Now Y’All come back soon as I will be posting the remaining lessons real soon 😉  Blessings.

 

20 Great Stay-Cation Ideas (how to vacation without leaving your home)

 

Not all those who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

Visit The Art of Domesticity, where I shared the below ideas on how to vacation without leaving your home.  My friend, Sandra Maddox, has a passion for creating a beautiful life-giving sanctuary within the home.  Her home and life reflect her passion.  I treasure being able to share my thoughts.

There are numerous misconceptions about traveling these days. The thought of traveling can be daunting depending on the season of life one currently is in. After all, if you have several little ones in tow you might think twice before embarking on international travel. One’s budget might impose travel constraints. Maybe current travel restrictions or the recent media circulation of airlines removing paying passengers from planes have you less excited. My family is staying close to home this summer as our teenager has various summer commitments allowing us only a week of family togetherness. The idea of traveling when everyone else does isn’t very appealing either considering the lines are longer, the prices are more expensive and the weather tends to be hotter. For various reasons, staying close to home can be an attractive option.

Early in our marriage, while living in the Washington DC area, our weekends provided for lots of new adventures as we visited monuments and museums, rode bikes along the numerous trails, and visited nearby points of interest. Living on a small budget, we sought activities that were cost effective or free. I was flabbergasted when I’d share about our weekend adventures with locals and they would remark that they had never done such and such. Having had the opportunity to stay in Portland for two summers, we would make the most of our weekends taking in the local sights via walking tours, sightseeing buses, or driving to areas close by such as the beach, vineyards, and mountains.

Why is it that we can live in the same place for over a decade and never explore what’s right under our noses?

Let’s admit it, we probably have spent more time exploring places far away from home than we have in our hometowns. This is common. People tend to put off local exploration assuming they will eventually get around to it but life gets in the way. There are bound to be places around us we haven’t explored or activities we haven’t tried. So, lets purpose this summer to be local explorers and tourists in our hometown. Some call this a staycation.

  1. Don’t know where to begin? Of course, you do it’s just a click away, the Internet offers a bazillion ideas. Some possible searches might include: Things to do around (your place of interest), Top 10 Thing to do in (your place of interest), 10 best places to eat (your place of interest) —Visit tripadvisor and click on things to do.
  2. Plan for FUN!!! Set a reasonable and realistic budget for your at home adventure.
  3. Seek input from all family members and incorporate something from everyone participating.
  4. Subscribe to a local monthly magazine(s). I receive Austin Monthly plus subscribe to their website as they curate the best of what our city has to offer from culture to cuisine. FYI, a local magazine makes a great welcome gift for newcomers.
  5. Search and sign up for local city deals through TravelZooGroupon, and LivingSocial. You can save up to 70% on hotels, events, food & drinks and things to do. When I knew we would be spending previous summers in Portland, I purchased many fun excursions including places to eat and things to do.
  6. Download a traveling app as many are available to guide you to awesome places around any town. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut going to the same places. Use this opportunity to explore new places. Musement helps travelers get the best from destinations by providing a great choice of local tours and attractions. likeAlocal is a city guide of sorts. See Mashable’s 5 apps for exploring a new city like a local, Instagram offers suggestions on various locations by simply tapping on the search icon from the front screen, open the Places tab, to browse through most popular and recent photos people are posting at a certain location.
  7. Document your adventures by taking lots of photos.
  8. Incorporate what you enjoy most to the discovery process. Personally, we explore new cities by searching for third wave coffee shops or walking trails. Our search for the best coffee and trails makes exploring more exciting.
  9. Go camping in your backyard or search for best places close to home as most kids love being outdoors.
  10. Visit the local convention and visitors bureau for maps, discounts, and other helpful suggestions.
  11. Consider booking a hotel, if finances allow, as the point of a staycation is to feel as if you got away and makes it easier to see all the urban sights if you live out in the ‘burbs.
  12. Catch the summer blockbuster movies or rent those you might have missed.
  13. Take a nap. This is a great time for R&R 😉
  14. Be adventurous. Do something you’ve never done.
  15. Book a city tour to experience your hometown with new eyes. Consider a Segway, bus, bike, or walking tour.
  16. Make day trips to local tourist sites close to home.
  17. Tour local museums and galleries.
  18. Leave work where it belongs. Avoid contact with colleagues plus resolve not to conquer the to-do list while at home.
  19. Unplug from electronics and step away from the computer.
  20. Purposefully engage with one another by being fully present.

Do you have other strategies for getting away from it all in your own home? I would love to hear!

Blessings,

Cherie Werner