Visit me over at MomHeart to read more. 

I first heard Clay and Sally speak in Anaheim, CA at a home school conference in 1997.  Their heart for discipling children captivated me and I sought wisdom through their resources and conferences. Proverbs 13:20 says “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” 

I considered Sally to be one of the most influential women in my life. Sally’s grace based parenting and approach to teaching has impacted my family and many others worldwide.  I am blessed to call Sally a friend and to partner with her and many other like minded women.

My mission is to encourage other moms as I have been tremendously blessed the last 15 years. Luke 12:48b “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”  

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Like many women I have met, I was brought up unprepared for the challenges of motherhood…

I did not seek after it with much enthusiasm. I was afraid of what might happen if I were to bring children into the world because I was consumed with anger and bitterness from my own upbringing.  Every child longs for a parent’s love, attention, affection, acceptance, comfort, and approval and I was no different.  When these needs go unmet, a child or young adult will seek to have them met in things such as drugs, sex, control, money, success, or unhealthy relationships.   Thankfully, I encountered the only person who could truly meet my needs, and that was Jesus Christ.  He’s the only person I’ve ever met that gives freely and without any strings attached. His redemptive love rescued me on February 25, 1987 when my husband, Jon, and I accepted Christ.

“I received exactly what I needed to begin the journey of motherhood as I was given the Holy Spirit to teach and guide me (John 14:26; 16:13)…..

Continue reading on the MomHeart Blog

Jeremiah 29:11 was the promise that God tenderly put on my heart when I agreed to the move (I probably didn’t have the best attitude).  To impress me and get me on board the company flew Jon and I out to San Diego for a week.  Hello, free vacation without children, count me in!  We visited a church on Sunday, which at the end of the service we went up for prayer and shared we were thinking about moving to CA.  The couple unknowingly prayed Jeremiah 29:11 over us – God knew and used it to directed us. Then our community group surprised us with the below framed art as a going away gift, which continually reminds me of God’s love for me.

Surprisingly the three short years we were in Carlsbad, CA were the most spiritually life changing years of my walk. There are so many things that I experienced as a result of my obedience to follow my husband and listen to God.  Did I mention that San Diego is close to paradise?  I am grateful that Jon had the opportunity to pursue his dream as God’s ways rightfully were better that my ways.

Truth to Live By

The Butterfly has been said to be symbolic of the Resurrection. I believe I heard this illustration during my Catholic school years.

1. The caterpillar which just eats represents daily normal earthly life where people are preoccupied with taking care of their physical needs.

2. The chrysalis resembles the tomb.

3. The butterfly represents the resurrection. The butterfly emerges into a glorious new life free of material restrictions.

So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44)

Happy birthday to my sweet girl Cayley

she’s now eleven thus no longer a baby.

An adventurous girl always looking for fun,

while keeping her dad and I quiet young.

The youngest of the girls by ten years

makes her seem older to many of our peers.

She has had many intriguing obsessions*

each of which creates perpetual questions.

She’s may be growing up in the information age

but she still reads books by turning a page.

She is special in so many ways

I thank God for her each and every day.

I Love you Cayley

You’re becoming quiet a young lady.

* Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Curious George, The Wiggles, sharks, Paul McCarthy, The Beatles, anything Adidas, playing office, looking at her sister’s photos on Facebook, and making up different voices.

Under the caterpillar’s skin this time is a jade green casing which is called a chrysalis. Inside the chrysalis, which is only about an inch long, the caterpillar will miraculously transform into a beautiful butterfly. We must wait 9-14 days to watch our butterflies emerge.

Today’s lesson was fun and educational to watch. I took these time lapse photos. Once hubby is home I can have him show me how to upload the video I took. Blessings and may you too find awe in God’s creation.

Yesterday Cayley and I stumbled upon a garden which had be devoured by hundreds of monarch caterpillars; sad for the home owners, but score for us. I was able to share what a treasure they had in their front yard  As a new home owner, I don’t think he was really excited about an infestation of large ugly green caterpillars.  I asked if we could take a few and happily he obliged. So we took three large specimens for the science project we would start.

I rummaged through our cupboard and found a pastic cookie tray (21×9) that made the perfect terrarium for our three object lessons. Be sure to put holes in your container.  When we returned from BSF all three caterpillars had crawled to the top of the container.

Here is a really informative website on the Monarch Butterfly Metamorphosis. I didn’t realize how much they eat.  Hence why we looked for the biggest ones in hope they were done feasting on milkweed which they do for 9-14 days. NOTE: they eat a lot so they excrete a lot = a mess.  You might also want to put each caterpillar in it’s own container which I read after I put all three together.  http://www.butterflybushes.com/monarch_metamorphosis.htm

As I write this all three caterpillars are hanging in a J-shape which will last for one complete day before they shed their skins one last time as they pass from the larval (caterpillar) stage to the pupa (chrysalis) stage of metamorphosis.

We will wait 9 to 14 days for the transformation from caterpillar to a butterfly is complete.  So many object lessons ahead.

Learning can be fun and I have such fond memories of doing this with Caryn and Courtney when they were Cayley’s age.

For almost fifteen years I have been greatly influenced and equipped by The WholeHearted Ministry through books and conferences. How exciting that they continue to provide support for moms through this new blog. After becoming a mother I realized I was ill prepared to be a mom. Seven years into the journey I came across Clay and Sally Clarkson speaking at a conference in CA. Their message was appealing and life changing as it continually brought me back to God’s word. Their grace-based teachings were exactly what my soul desperately needed to hear.

As moms we need each other for encouragement, equipping, and sanity Motherhood is not a journey to be traveled alone. With today’s technology there are numerous resources at your finger tips but you still need to be connecting with one another in meaningful ways. Today’s featured blog contributor shares how to start a group in your area. Speaking from experience, there is so much value through group participation. When I returned to Austin in 1998 after living three years in San Diego I felt lonely and hardly knew anyone who was home schooling so I organized the Austin WholeHearted Home School Group. For several years I met many moms who inspired me to continue the journey I was on. I fondly recall the various groups I have been privileged to participate in. Today I find myself more in a mentoring role as my two eldest daughters have graduated from college. However, I still seek support as I have a ten year old. Regardless of where you are along the path you should always be investing in others.

I humbly ask you to help us connect with other moms.

• Please share with the momheart blog with all of your mom friends.
• Subscribe to the MomHeart.org RSS feed to know when a new post is on their blog.
• Go to the “Mom Heart Online” page on Facebook and LIKE plus share it with your friends.
• If you are active on Twitter (I hope to one day learn how to use this social tool), you can follow them at: @momheartonline.
• Be sure to check out the blogs of the various contributors to be encouraged.
• Leave a comment at iTakeJoy.com to be entered in a give away as Sally will be giving away four (4) one-hour audios from our moms conferences over the years (1996-2010 so far). Whoever wins will be able to select the messages from the dozens now available as MP3 downloads in the Whole Heart Online Store.
• Lastly, if you comment on either my Facebook post or the blog you will automatically be entered into a free book give away for one of the following books The Mission of Motherhood, The Ministry of Motherhood, Seasons Of Motherhood, or Dancing With My Father.

The more you invest in your marriage, the more you will get back as all successful relationships require some work. Jon and I are intentional by attending a marriage conference, class, retreat, event about every 2-3 years.

This Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be Jon’s birthday, we spent 4 days on Family Life’s “Love Like You Mean It” Marriage Cruise where we were encouraged by the following speakers and artists. I can honestly say that we were blessed by the speakers.

• Gary Thomas
• Voddie Baucham
• Tim and Joy Downs
• Michael O’Brien
• Sanctus Real
• Matthew West
• Annie Moses Band
• Darlene McCoy
• And others

It’s been interesting to hear the comments people make when I shared about going on a marriage cruise and the importance of investing in your marriage. Usually I hear, “Wow! I never thought about investing in our marriage but can see the benefit .” After all, we have to do regular maintenance on cars to keep them running efficiently

Once, we let five years slip by without being intentional or investing in our marriage and before we knew it we had drifted apart. We got along very well but we operated more like business partners than marriage partners. Around 2005, we began going to counseling because our older daughters approached their dad to say they felt our marriage was no longer a priority and for the previous 5 years they were right!  We had stopped dating, having fun, or being intentional since having our third child in 2001. Add to that Jon starting a company and other life difficulties and you can see how easy it was to allow our marriage to take a back seat in our lives. The counseling sessions really helped us turn our focus back on each other and get our marriage back on track.

Marriage should be a reflection of Christ’s love & relationship with the church as we are called to be His image bearer. I am thankful today our marriage is more like this. What do you do to invest in your marriage? It’s been said you can tell a lot about what’s really important to someone by the amount of time and money they invest into it. How much time and money do you invest into your marriage?

Our pastor once said, “You shouldn’t date to get married, you should get married to date!”

So date each other!

Some ways we have invested include:

• Attending a marriage conference/seminar. WHY? It’s better to be proactive than reactive.
• Read books on marriage together in areas you may be struggling (finances, parenting, communication, etc..)
• Read a couples devotion together to begin or end your day.
• Pray together.
• Look for ways to serve one another (Christ came to serve).
• Participate in a group study related to marriage.
• Mentor others. Jon and I do pre-martial counseling to prepare couples for their marriages. Oh my, I wish we would have begun our marriage with the knowledge these couple have!
• Seek out an older/wiser couple to mentor you. While on the cruise we found older couples to sit with and asked them for any wisdom ☺

In closing, preventative maintenance is less costly than legal fees. Don’t let pride or your ego get in the way of asking for help. Godly counsel with accountability is invaluable.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8

Several years ago I shared with some moms the ABC’s of being an influential mother.  Great information but an overload of content. How about if I share one principle and expand upon it weekly?  This will give you time to apply the principle.

Currently I am taking Cayley, my daughter (10), through the Young Peacemakers Series. This is a resource that I highly recommend for every family as it teaches children (and moms) how to respond to conflict God’s way.  We are going through about one booklet a week. I appreciate how when we struggle I can ask her, “Cayley, what is causing the quarrels between us? Is it that you want your way and you don’t get it?”

We have learned what conflict is and how to respond to it. It’s easy to learn but, oh my, putting it into practice can be hard but is worth the effort from my experience.  I went through this same material with Caryn (23) and Courtney (21) when they were also ten. I even took some 5th/6th grade Sunday School girls though it and saw wonderful results.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  

The first step to resolving conflict in a way that pleases God is to ADMIT (confess) what you did was wrong, then take responsibility for your sinful choices.  This seems like an easy thing to do but honestly this was an area where I struggled for years as I felt being wrong was a weakness. However, the harder I tried to be perfect the more mistakes I made and this created frustration.  It didn’t help that I grew up in a home where I can probably count on my hands the number of times I heard an apology given.  My family dynamic was that parents are always right and must be in control.

I learned that its best to be real with my daughters, as the bible says we ALL sin and fall short of God’s glory. Romans 3:23  Some of the mistakes I have made with my girls were: being too harsh, being busy, getting angry, responding out of stress, being negative, being fearful, etc… Yes I have blown it on many occasions but I am so grateful that my sins DO NOT define me.

Big or small, everyone blows it now and then. One of the best admissions you’ll ever make to your child is, “I was wrong; I’m sorry; will you forgive me?” Trust me you will have an attentive audience.  Our children do not desire perfect mothers, only real ones.   Be transparent with your kids.  Let them know you are NOT perfect and share your short comings.  When our children see that we are truly humble, it is a lot easier for their hearts to be receptive and shaped by convictions that we share with them.  Righting a wrong involves more than just saying “sorry” (use the 5A’s found in Young Peacemakers Series) You must admit what you did wrong, apologize for how your choices affected others, accept the consequences, ask for forgiveness, and alter your choices in the future.  Lastly, make restitution, if necessary.   Remember, children learn more from watching and we are setting an example.  Lastly, when apologizing to small children, it helps to get down to their level and look them in the eye.