10 Ways For a Happier Day

 

sunflower

photo by Cherie Werner

  1. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY: I will spend a little more time in God’s word and prayer. I will find a quiet place to meditate and listen for GOD’s voice!!! Romans 12:12; James 5:13; Mark 1:35, Joshua 1:8
  2. TODAY I WILL BE PATIENT:  If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind… I will not respond in a like manner. Romans 12:12; 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
  3. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY “ENEMY”: If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask GOD to bless that individual. I understand the “enemy” could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker or stranger. Matthew 5:44
  4. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE: I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way. Mark 11:25; Matthew 6:15, Luke 6:27-31
  5. TODAY I WILL WISELY CHOOSE MY WORDS : I will carefully choose and guard my words knowing they have the power of life and death. Words matter.   Proverbs 18:21; 20:19; Ephesians 4:29
  6. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE: I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.  Galatians 6:2
  7. TODAY I WILL SECRETLY EXTEND KINDNESS:  I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another. Colossians 3:12, Galatians 5:22
  8. TODAY I WILL BUILD UP AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS: I will practice the golden rule – “Do unto others as I would have them do unto me.”  I Thessalonians 5:11Jude1:20; Matthew 7:12
  9. TODAY I WILL BE GENEROUS: I will share by time, energy, and resources with others. 2 Corinthians 9:11, 1 Timothy 6:18
  10. TODAY I WILL NURTURE MYSELF: I will eat healthier, exercise, and seek to eliminate stress.  I will thank God for my body. 1 Corinthians 6:19; 1 Timothy 4:8

O Happy Day!

Where Are You Going and How Do You Plan to Get There?

Good character

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4

We all leave a legacy. What will your legacy say about the life you lived ? Lewis Carroll said, “If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there.” Leaving a godly legacy starts with having an ongoing, deepening and intimate relationship with Jesus. We must first possess that which we desire to pass on. We are to be obedient to God in raising our children, but the outcome ultimately is up to Him. How was I to accomplish the task found in Proverbs 14:1? “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her hands.” Without a clear direction, one’s past is easily repeated. Determining a plan to redirect your path will keep you on course. As the saying goes, “If you fail to PLAN, you plan to fail.” Seeking to leave a Godly legacy I intentionally pursued a goal-oriented philosophy versus a survival- based philosophy.

What eternal difference are you investing in future generations? More importantly, when you stand before God will you hear the words, “Well done good and faithful servant.” If so, you’ll want to create a clear, compelling vision of what you and your family are about. The values you hold most dear should define your mission. A vague sense of destination leads to over commitment, indecision as to how to allocate scarce time and resources, inaccurate goals either too small or big, and the inability to plan properly.

Agreeing on where you are going is essential for oneness in the family. Look at Amos 3:3 “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” One can see the importance of agreement in this verse: the direction and destination of the walk, the path taken to reach their destination, their speed, and whether to go together. My family has utilized three directional tools, Purpose/Mission Statement, Goal Setting, and Values/Vision Statements.

MISSION STATEMENTS are like a compass, guiding you as you navigate life. Your mission statement is your destination expressed vividly enough so that it motivates you and compels others to want to help you get there. Begin with the end in mind. HOW will you reach your destination and WHY are you going there? Your mission emerges out of a combination of your God-given design and the circumstances of your life. Writing out your mission statement is a process and these steps will help:

  1. Begin with prayer for God knows the plans He has for your life (Jeremiah 29:11) and who wants to labor in vain? (Psalm 127:1)
  2. Ask these questions to help develop a family mission statement
  3. Invest the needed time.
  4. Examine (your past, present and future).
  5. Seek feedback from mentors once completed.
  6. Write out your mission statement. In Habakkuk 2:2 the Lord tells the prophet, …Write down the vision; write it clearly on clay tablets so whoever reads it can run to tell others.
  7. Hang it on the wall to be seen by all.
  8. Live by it thereby staying on course.
  9. Re-evaluate and revise when necessary. Ours is in need of an update as our family dynamics changed two years ago when our older daughters moved away.

This Franklin Covey tool may help you begin the process of building a personal or family mission statement.

The Werner Family Mission Statement

The Werner Family Mission Statement

2005 Werner Family Mission Statement

GOAL SETTING helps you decide how to invest your time, energy, and resources. Goals should be tangible and measurable. Achieving positive outcomes rarely happen by chance. Areas where goals can be helpful include spiritual growth, family (for each child), home schooling, financial, marriage, career, ministry, etc. Learn from your daily experiences and adjust your efforts based on the desired goal and what you’ve learned.

Key ingredients for setting goals are:
WHAT do you desire to see accomplished?
WHY is this important to do at this time?
HOW will you accomplish the “what”?
WHEN will the “how” be done?

Have SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Result oriented, and Time-limited.

Here is an example to help you get started.  Example Goals – Proverbs

VALUES or VISION STATEMENT: Values are those things you esteem and what you give worth to. Values are an expression of your core beliefs. Values determine where you spend your time, energy, and money. Some of our guiding values are our faith, being missional, family togetherness and Godly character. Other values encompass guiding bible verses (1 Timothy 4:12, Philippians 4:8, etc.) Also, many of our values are incorporated into our mission statement. Proverbs 29:18 “without a vision people perish.” King Solomon declared the need for vision… a sense of direction and destiny. The contrast seems clear; perish or flourish; wander aimlessly or stretch forth purposefully.

I found this extremely helpful Determining Core Values Project by FamilyLife Today

We are all on a journey through life. There are many destinations clamoring for our attention. With so many options, we must begin with the end in mind for each day takes us toward some destination. The decisions made today will impact your future, what you become and how your loved ones remember you. “A righteous man will be remembered forever.” Psalms 112:6b

50+ Ways To Love Your Lover

50+ Ways To Love Your Lover.jpg

It’s interesting how we often express love to others the way we desire to receive love ourselves. What makes one person feel loved is not necessarily going to make another person feel loved. Gary Chapman wrote the best selling book “The Five Love Languages.”  He describes five basic ways for expressing or experiencing love: Service, Time and attention, Touch, Gifts, and Words.

My husband is very touchy, not surprisingly, his primary love language is physical touch. Holding hands, kissing, hugging and sex speak volumes to him.  Nothing communicates love to Jon like physical touch.

Fate would have it that physical touch is at the bottom of my needs spectrum so I’ve had to learn to speak his love language consistently to meet his need.  We have a special kiss we begin and end our day with as well as when we part and reunite.

Gifts are my primary love language so I was always buying Jon thoughtful cards, gifts, etc..  Even today, with my friends and children, I get excited when I hear something they desire because later I will buy it and give it to them. Buying gifts is my way of saying not only am I’m thinking about you but here is something thoughtful to show you.  Imagine my disappointment when Jon, early on in our marriage, did not reciprocate. Honestly, it’s really not the gift I receive but the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind a gift.  These days he will occasionally surprise me with an orchid, my favorite coffee drink or the gift of time.

Dr. Gary Chapman said, “There is an intangible gift that sometimes speaks more loudly than a gift that can be held in one’s hand.  I call it the gift of self or the gift of presence.  Being there when your spouse needs you speaks loudly to the on whose primary love language is receiving gifts.” 

Unfortunately, we both still miss the mark communicating love to each other but thankfully we keep getting better with practice. The “How Do You Spell Love?” Exercise has helped us and others to better express love to one another.  We were introduced to this exercise via Dudley Bienvenu in his workbook “Married Happily Ever After?”

For my birthday this year, Jon didn’t make time to shop for a gift so there was not a special, thoughtful gift for me to open on my actual birthday. As I was preparing this, we both had to laugh as I read aloud from the chapter on gifts that “A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous.” So true as the day after my birthday Jon went shopping for me and bought some hasty gifts. I think he now has a better appreciation to my reaction. I confess I could have been more gracious.

What’s your Love Language?

Take the on-line assessment by clicking here to decipher what your Love Language is. Be sure to get your spouse to take the assessment and if you have children I encourage you to have them take it so you can understand theirs as well.

Discover 50+ practical ways to love your lover. Learn how to best express their love language by following the instructions of the appropriate document below:

Please let me know if you found this helpful.  What new insights did you receive?