If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8

Several years ago I shared with some moms the ABC’s of being an influential mother.  Great information but an overload of content. How about if I share one principle and expand upon it weekly?  This will give you time to apply the principle.

Currently I am taking Cayley, my daughter (10), through the Young Peacemakers Series. This is a resource that I highly recommend for every family as it teaches children (and moms) how to respond to conflict God’s way.  We are going through about one booklet a week. I appreciate how when we struggle I can ask her, “Cayley, what is causing the quarrels between us? Is it that you want your way and you don’t get it?”

We have learned what conflict is and how to respond to it. It’s easy to learn but, oh my, putting it into practice can be hard but is worth the effort from my experience.  I went through this same material with Caryn (23) and Courtney (21) when they were also ten. I even took some 5th/6th grade Sunday School girls though it and saw wonderful results.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  

The first step to resolving conflict in a way that pleases God is to ADMIT (confess) what you did was wrong, then take responsibility for your sinful choices.  This seems like an easy thing to do but honestly this was an area where I struggled for years as I felt being wrong was a weakness. However, the harder I tried to be perfect the more mistakes I made and this created frustration.  It didn’t help that I grew up in a home where I can probably count on my hands the number of times I heard an apology given.  My family dynamic was that parents are always right and must be in control.

I learned that its best to be real with my daughters, as the bible says we ALL sin and fall short of God’s glory. Romans 3:23  Some of the mistakes I have made with my girls were: being too harsh, being busy, getting angry, responding out of stress, being negative, being fearful, etc… Yes I have blown it on many occasions but I am so grateful that my sins DO NOT define me.

Big or small, everyone blows it now and then. One of the best admissions you’ll ever make to your child is, “I was wrong; I’m sorry; will you forgive me?” Trust me you will have an attentive audience.  Our children do not desire perfect mothers, only real ones.   Be transparent with your kids.  Let them know you are NOT perfect and share your short comings.  When our children see that we are truly humble, it is a lot easier for their hearts to be receptive and shaped by convictions that we share with them.  Righting a wrong involves more than just saying “sorry” (use the 5A’s found in Young Peacemakers Series) You must admit what you did wrong, apologize for how your choices affected others, accept the consequences, ask for forgiveness, and alter your choices in the future.  Lastly, make restitution, if necessary.   Remember, children learn more from watching and we are setting an example.  Lastly, when apologizing to small children, it helps to get down to their level and look them in the eye.

Once I accepted the challenge of blogging more often the next step was to figure out what I could share that would be of interest to others.  Courtney, my daughter, implored me to share my heart and from my experiences.  Eureka! I’d share from a talk I presented several years ago entitled, The ABC’s of Being an Influential Mom.  Below is what you get to look forward to.

• A  Admits when she is wrong and humbly seeks forgiveness and restoration.
• B  Brightly shines as a role model her children desire to follow.  Leads by example knowing more is caught than actually taught.
• C  Communicates clearly and effectively with her children.
• …..

Stay tuned.

This is a celebratory weekend as Courtney is graduating from Grand Canyon University.  Needless to say we are very proud of all of our daughters but this weekend is about Courtney who is our first to graduate from college. Courtney is graduating at the age of 20 with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology,  Summa Cum Laude (this means she’s really smart). Courtney’s determination and dedication these past few years have be inspiring to me.  I’m not sure she knows it but I think she’s a really wise person.  She is a great writer and I enjoy reading her blog confessions of an x-introvert.  She also has a mesmerizing voice and is a budding musician. Check her out on YouTube

In August she will be  moving to San Diego where she will be participating in an internship with Origins on the campus of UC San Diego.  She will be sorely missed. However I am excited about going to visit her as San Diego is one of my top three favorite places to be. Congratulations Courtney, I am so proud of you and know God has amazing plans for your life.

It’s been over a year since I last blogged and there are numerous reasons why.   Regardless, the catalyst that compelled me to begin again was the encouragement and training I received while attending the Mom’s Heart Leaders Intensive Training August 5-7, 2010 in Colorado Springs. Many thanks to the Clarkson family/ministry for their vision to equip and encourage moms to return to God’s design for the family.  Once I am able to fully process the wonderful events of this training I promise to share more.

However, God impressed on my heart to share the below as an encouragement to my older daughters, the future generation of leaders on college campuses, and whoever else reads this.

When my older girls, Caryn (21) and Courtney (19), were young, I had them memorize 1 Timothy 4:12-14 (NIV) Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

I desired to give them a vision for greatness and I wanted to set a God standard for them. This past year they have lived out this verse well despite people questioning them including their parents, church leaders, and friends. When questioned, the girls would respectfully reply, “We answer to someone higher and must walk in obedience to His calling.”  They are devoted to Jesus and it was not important to them to be understood by others.  They have a vertical focus verses a horizontal/worldly focus. The cost has been great as they have lost some friends and have been misunderstood. However, their obedience has been such an example to me and I have been humbled by the steadfastness to their calling.

God graciously reminded me of 1 Timothy 4:12-14 last Wednesday night when I had 25+ college students, including the girls, who were attending the Austin Student CPx training, into our home. I thought I would have them over to bless them with a meal and ended up being the one blessed.  They arrived around 6:30pm and by the time they left after midnight I was exhausted but my soul was honestly refreshed.  I wish I could say my motives had been pure but I was still trying to understand this two-year-old ministry called Student CPx. Last year my daughters went through the Student CPx 10-day training in Austin and made many radical changes in their lives. They decided to leave our traditional church of 3,000+ to start a house/simple church. To start a conversation they would go up to strangers and say something kind to them.  They would even asked to pray with those injured for healing. These actions opened the door to share their love of Jesus to individuals who typically might not ever walk through the doors of a church. I believe because their faith was genuine they were showing love by their actions and others received it.  I didn’t understand their actions or what they were doing at the time.   However, I knew both girls passionately loved Jesus, sought Him daily through His word, prayer, journaling, and quiet time.  Honestly I envied all the time they spent in His presence. It was because of their discipline and spiritual foundation we, their parents, could trust the direction they were being lead even though we did not fully understand it.  Did they sense our faith was not good enough for them? It was hard to not take their decision personally as a criticism for how we brought them up and I deeply missed worshiping together as a family. However, I saw the joy they exhibited as well as their wisdom and commitment they had while continuing to meet in their simple church regardless of the skepticism they encountered.  I think with any new movement there is an apprehension as to whether it is legit but all new ministries have to start somewhere.

Fast-ward to this past week as Student CPx was back in Austin conducting their 2nd training but this time Caryn and Courtney were helping to facilitate, serve, and lead it. When asked If I would prepare a meal I thought why not have them into our home which would allow me to meet some of the students and maybe get a better feel for this ministry especially since Courtney was now part of their traveling team and both were more fully invested in this ministry. Yes, Courtney will be traveling around the US to various college campuses this Fall with Student CPx.  Currently she is in Phoenix and then will head to Portland to encourage and equip students.  God indeed has called her out of her quiet, timid, and guarded self. She is a self-professing “x-introvert.”  Check out her blog to follow her adventures http://courtneywerner.wordpress.com/

Today I write having a much better understanding of the ministry my girls are serving with. I not only have peace but excitement for the impact they are having on college campuses. Last Wednesday I had several students share with me the impact the girls have had on their lives. It was hard not to be proud of how God is using them. Many friends have asked me what Student CPx is and I never really knew how to answer until now. Briefly, it is a 10-day experiential training school designed to give students the tools and experiences to plant networks of simple churches on their campuses.

The students I met were not ordinary; they were extraordinary.  The reality of the lyrics from the song Hosanna flooded my mind as I watched and listened to these students share:

I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith

With selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we (they) pray and seek

We’re on our knees

We’re on our knees

These students were passionate about their love for Christ. They bubbled over with joy. I was deeply moved as they sent out one of their own as he was leaving the next day for college. He would be ministering on his campus in KS among Native American Indians. You could sense the love and confidence with which he was being sent. These students were real with their emotions and not caught up in how they looked to anyone other than their Father. They indeed taught me with their life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. It will be exciting to see what these students do on their campuses and elsewhere around the world.

Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice.  I will not lie that this week I have found it hard to rejoice God in all things. I have shed more tears than I ever thought possible.  I have been counseled by some to let go and others say be joyful.  Honestly, I go between the two but I must refocus my thoughts on God’s past goodness.  So why the “boat load” of tears and the title ” terrible, horrible, very bad week”?
 
Monday I received the news that my dad’s cancer is quickly spreading and is now located in the liver.  He is in stage 4.  Their hope is that the cancer will not go below T11 in the spine as that is when you loose bladder control.  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jamesbienvenu
 
Tuesday we decided that it would be best to drive to La. for Christmas so I can spend some time with my parents. Traveling during the holidays is always stressful for me but add a move on top of that!  Obviously this is not the Christmas I had envisioned.  Where is the peace and joy I desired to rest in?
 
We called the potential buyer for BiM as we had not heard an update and they basically told us they have decided to wait until Jan/Feb to make a decision.  Things could have been so much smoother had they had the integrity to call us when they started down that road.  Thus more WAITING!!! In my mind it is time to move out of our 1300 sq. ft. apt. and reclaim all of of our possessions in storage as five months is long enough. I’m not quite sure what God was desiring for us to learn from this experience.  On the bright side it will be great fun when we go though our 3 storage units and get our winter clothes, pot & pans, etc… I am sure it will be a purging process as if I can do without something for 5 months as chances are I do not need it.  Since Wed. we have been scrabbling to find a house to lease for 6-9 months.  The house I decided on when we contacted the agent had a contract so we had to look again. Thankfully we signed papers today on one in Mueller and hope to hear a yes back today. I feel a little fearful we will not get it given the week.
 
On Wed. I brought our cat Tigger to the vet since we are going out of town and I sensed something was not right.  After lots of tests an x-ray showed a tumor.  Needless to say this now created lots of emotional upset. The girls could not put the cat to sleep unless they knew for sure they had done everything for her.  Thus the vet sent the cat home that evening as surgeries are done on Friday.  Once we entered the house the cat could no longer walk without falling over which created more sadness for all of us.  However, the girls never lost hope that things would be ok.  So when the call came today at noon that Tigger had pancreatic cancer and her life was indeed over incredible sadness overcame us all.  You never realize the love you have for a pet until she’s gone. Cayley is thankfully at a friends and I hope we can all be strong  for her as she is has had trouble sleeping and crying at just the thought of the cat dying.
 
We finally got our van back this week from an accident we had coming back home the weekend before Thanksgiving.  It took 4 weeks to fix the sliding door and passenger door. The driver had been drinking and lost control of his SUV plus had no insurance.  I praise God every time I think about this incident as we were surely spared from far greater tragedy given the speed and drinking being involved.
 
Jon’s hard drive crashed Wed. but thankfully was under warranty and the list of small and usually overlooked irritants all were magnified given the already heavy load on my plate.
 
We leave tomorrow for Louisiana to be with our parents.  It will be nice to get away.  I am thankful for the season to daily redirect my focus from me to He who came as a child to die a sinners death.  Jesus is the reason for the season.  Below is a devotion I recieved earlier this week that has provided much comfort.
Being an Overcomer
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
12-16-2008

“How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Ps 13:1-2).

Have you ever heard someone jokingly say, “It’s not easy being me?” This expression is poking fun at their unique personality or challenges they face in life. Well, it wasn’t easy being King David.

His life was a life of extreme highs and extreme lows. He was a shepherd, a political leader, a builder, a prophet, a businessman, a warrior, a lover, a giver, a murderer and a worshiper. He must have been criticized by others as being hypocritical in his early career. In each of these roles he achieved things for God but he also failed God on many occasions. He had a creative-type personality, which is often very passionate with many mood swings. We see this side of him when he unabashedly danced before the Lord in front of his subjects almost naked (2 Sam 6:14).

When David wrote his psalms he was honest about what he was feeling. When he feared his enemies he expressed it. When he could not understand why God was silent, he expressed it as in the psalm above.

However, David never stayed in the place of despair. He often ended his psalms like this one. “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me” (Ps 13:5-6).

David chooses to focus on what God has done for him, not what He has not done. If you are waiting for a breakthrough with God, be honest with Him about your hopes and dreams. However, also affirm your faith and trust in Him to accomplish His purposes through your life. Be an overcomer.

They say no news is good news as is the case with BiM and the Werner family.  Last time I wrote an update was April 13th.  We have patiently waited and finally with guarded excitement share that BiM received a letter of intent (LOI) on 8/20/08 from a global fitness brand to acquire the assets and provide jobs for all the employees. This transaction is scheduled to close before Thanksgiving although we sure would like it to be sooner   This summer has been busy as BiM launched a trial with a wireless carrier in Italy. Here is a clip from a promo piece http://www.nextim.it/web/guest/tim_personal_trainer?xsWs=1219787491194  Also they will soon be launching a content partnership with The Weather Channel. 

As many of you know we moved the 1st of August from a rental house to an apartment placing almost all of our belongs into 3 SAMS storage units for what we thought would be 2 months.  It looks like we will be here until December as we wait for this deal to close and build a home in the Mueller area  http://www.muelleraustin.com/  We are super excited about this location as well as watching the house go up.  Cayley told me I had to call it a house as it is not a home until we move into it  

• - Wisdom and discernment during the negotiations for both Jon and Andy
• - For patience during the process as this is a big company that isn’t as nimble as BiM
• - For how the proceeds of the sale should be allocated to glorify God (knowing it all belongs to Him)
• - That God would use this transaction to open up the hearts of BiM employees on the west coast 
• - That all the glory for this acquisition would go to God