Building A Godly Legacy Brick by Brick.
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May15
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Apr17
God’s Ways Rightfully Are Better Than Our Ways
Our ways are not always God’s ways, which was true in 1995 when Jon was offered an incredible job in Carlsbad, CA. I was not excited about leaving Austin, TX nor the precious community group we were part of. Jon said we would return to Austin in three years.
Jeremiah 29:11 was the promise that God tenderly put on my heart when I agreed to the move (I probably didn’t have the best attitude). To impress me and get me on board the company flew Jon and I out to San Diego for a week. Hello, free vacation without children, count me in! We visited a church on Sunday, which at the end of the service we went up for prayer and shared we were thinking about moving to CA. The couple unknowingly prayed Jeremiah 29:11 over us – God knew 
and used it to directed us. Then our community group surprised us with the below framed art as a going away gift, which continually reminds me of God’s love for me.
Surprisingly the three short years we were in Carlsbad, CA were the most spiritually life changing years of my walk. There are so many things that I experienced as a result of my obedience to follow my husband and listen to God. Did I mention that San Diego is close to paradise? I am grateful that Jon had the opportunity to pursue his dream as God’s ways rightfully were better that my ways.
Truth to Live By
Apr14
The Butterfly has been said to be symbolic of the Resurrection
Today one of the three chrysalis transformed into a beautiful Monarch butterfly. Unfortunately, we did not get to see it emerge. I feel like we just missed it as it continued to hang upside down for it’s wings to fully expand and dry. Once we took it out of the container it hung upside down on Cayley’s finger for over 20 minutes. Needless to saw we were able to observe many of its details up close. We did finally put it outside and watched it fly away to begin a new life cycle as it will be ready to mate in 4-7 days. We still have two more chrysalis and hopefully we will be able to witness it exit the chrysalis.
The Butterfly has been said to be symbolic of the Resurrection. I believe I heard this illustration during my Catholic school years.
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The caterpillar which just eats represents daily normal earthly life where people are preoccupied with taking care of their physical needs.
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The chrysalis resembles the tomb.
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The butterfly represents the resurrection. The butterfly emerges into a glorious new life free of material restrictions.
So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44)
Apr6
Birthday Poem for Cayley’s 11th Birthday
Happy birthday to my sweet girl Cayley
she’s now eleven thus no longer a baby.
An adventurous girl always looking for fun,
while keeping her dad and I quiet young.
The youngest of the girls by ten years
makes her seem older to many of our peers.
She has had many intriguing obsessions*
each of which creates perpetual questions.
She’s may be growing up in the information age
but she still reads books by turning a page.
She is special in so many ways
I thank God for her each and every day.
I Love you Cayley
You’re becoming quiet a young lady.
* Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Curious George, The Wiggles, sharks, Paul McCarthy, The Beatles, anything Adidas, playing office, looking at her sister’s photos on Facebook, and making up different voices.
Mar22
New Beginnings for moms at momheart.com
I like newness. A new year, new clothes, places, etc… So today there is much excitement surrounding the launch of a NEW blog for moms at http://momheart.org/blog/
For almost fifteen years I have been greatly influenced and equipped by The WholeHearted Ministry through books and conferences. How exciting that they continue to provide support for moms through this new blog. After becoming a mother I realized I was ill prepared to be a mom. Seven years into the journey I came across Clay and Sally Clarkson speaking at a conference in CA. Their message was appealing and life changing as it continually brought me back to God’s word. Their grace-based teachings were exactly what my soul desperately needed to hear.
As moms we need each other for encouragement, equipping, and sanity Motherhood is not a journey to be traveled alone. With today’s technology there are numerous resources at your finger tips but you still need to be connecting with one another in meaningful ways. Today’s featured blog contributor shares how to start a group in your area. Speaking from experience, there is so much value through group participation. When I returned to Austin in 1998 after living three years in San Diego I felt lonely and hardly knew anyone who was home schooling so I organized the Austin WholeHearted Home School Group. For several years I met many moms who inspired me to continue the journey I was on. I fondly recall the various groups I have been privileged to participate in. Today I find myself more in a mentoring role as my two eldest daughters have graduated from college. However, I still seek support as I have a ten year old. Regardless of where you are along the path you should always be investing in others.
I humbly ask you to help us connect with other moms.
- Please share with the momheart blog with all of your mom friends.
- Subscribe to the MomHeart.org RSS feed to know when a new post is on their blog.
- Go to the “Mom Heart Online” page on Facebook and LIKE plus share it with your friends.
- If you are active on Twitter (I hope to one day learn how to use this social tool), you can follow them at: @momheartonline.
- Be sure to check out the blogs of the various contributors to be encouraged.
- Leave a comment at iTakeJoy.com to be entered in a give away as Sally will be giving away four (4) one-hour audios from our moms conferences over the years (1996-2010 so far). Whoever wins will be able to select the messages from the dozens now available as MP3 downloads in the Whole Heart Online Store.
- Lastly, if you comment on either my Facebook post or the blog you will automatically be entered into a free book give away for one of the following books The Mission of Motherhood, The Ministry of Motherhood, Seasons Of Motherhood, or Dancing With My Father.
Feb26
Investing and Being Intentional In Your Marriage
The more you invest in your marriage, the more you will get back as all successful relationships require some work. Jon and I are intentional by attending a marriage conference, class, retreat, event about every 2-3 years.
This Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be Jon’s birthday, we spent 4 days on Family Life’s “Love Like You Mean It” Marriage Cruise where we were encouraged by the following speakers and artists. I can honestly say that we were blessed by the speakers.
- Gary Thomas
- Voddie Baucham
- Tim and Joy Downs
- Michael O’Brien
- Sanctus Real
- Matthew West
- Annie Moses Band
- Darlene McCoy
- And others
It’s been interesting to hear the comments people make when I shared about going on a marriage cruise and the importance of investing in your marriage. Usually I hear, “Wow! I never thought about investing in our marriage but can see the benefit .” After all, we have to do regular maintenance on cars to keep them running efficiently
Once, we let five years slip by without being intentional or investing in our marriage and before we knew it we had drifted apart. We got along very well but we operated more like business partners than marriage partners. Around 2005, we began going to counseling because our older daughters approached their dad to say they felt our marriage was no longer a priority and for the previous 5 years they were right! We had stopped dating, having fun, or being intentional since having our third child in 2001. Add to that Jon starting a company and other life difficulties and you can see how easy it was to allow our marriage to take a back seat in our lives. The counseling sessions really helped us turn our focus back on each other and get our marriage back on track.
Marriage should be a reflection of Christ’s love & relationship with the church as we are called to be His image bearer. I am thankful today our marriage is more like this. What do you do to invest in your marriage? It’s been said you can tell a lot about what’s really important to someone by the amount of time and money they invest into it. How much time and money do you invest into your marriage?
Our pastor once said, “You shouldn’t date to get married, you should get married to date!”
So date each other!
Some ways we have invested include:
- Attending a marriage conference/seminar. WHY? It’s better to be proactive than reactive.
- Read books on marriage together in areas you may be struggling (finances, parenting, communication, etc..)
- Read a couples devotion together to begin or end your day.
- Pray together.
- Look for ways to serve one another (Christ came to serve).
- Participate in a group study related to marriage.
- Mentor others. Jon and I do pre-martial counseling to prepare couples for their marriages. Oh my, I wish we would have begun our marriage with the knowledge these couple have!
- Seek out an older/wiser couple to mentor you. While on the cruise we found older couples to sit with and asked them for any wisdom ☺
In closing, preventative maintenance is less costly than legal fees. Don’t let pride or your ego get in the way of asking for help. Godly counsel with accountability is invaluable.
Feb10
An Influential Mother ADMITS When She is Wrong
| An Influential Mother: | Bible References |
Resources |
Action Items |
| Admits when she is wrong and humbly seeks forgiveness and restoration. | Ps 32:5; Eph. 4:32; Rm 3:23; 1 Jn 1:8; Mt 5:9 | The Young Peacemakers Series by Ken Sande | Go to your children and ask them if there is anything you need to apologize for.What mistakes would you like to change as a parent? |
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8
Several years ago I shared with some moms the ABC’s of being an influential mother. Great information but an overload of content. How about if I share one principle and expand upon it weekly? This will give you time to apply the principle.
Currently I am taking Cayley, my daughter (10), through the Young Peacemakers Series. This is a resource that I highly recommend for every family as it teaches children (and moms) how to respond to conflict God’s way. We are going through about one booklet a week. I appreciate how when we struggle I can ask her, “Cayley, what is causing the quarrels between us? Is it that you want your way and you don’t get it?”
We have learned what conflict is and how to respond to it. It’s easy to learn but, oh my, putting it into practice can be hard but is worth the effort from my experience. I went through this same material with Caryn (23) and Courtney (21) when they were also ten. I even took some 5th/6th grade Sunday School girls though it and saw wonderful results.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
The first step to resolving conflict in a way that pleases God is to ADMIT (confess) what you did was wrong, then take responsibility for your sinful choices. This seems like an easy thing to do but honestly this was an area where I struggled for years as I felt being wrong was a weakness. However, the harder I tried to be perfect the more mistakes I made and this created frustration. It didn’t help that I grew up in a home where I can probably count on my hands the number of times I heard an apology given. My family dynamic was that parents are always right and must be in control.
I learned that its best to be real with my daughters, as the bible says we ALL sin and fall short of God’s glory. Romans 3:23 Some of the mistakes I have made with my girls were: being too harsh, being busy, getting angry, responding out of stress, being negative, being fearful, etc… Yes I have blown it on many occasions but I am so grateful that my sins DO NOT define me.
Big or small, everyone blows it now and then. One of the best admissions you’ll ever make to your child is, “I was wrong; I’m sorry; will you forgive me?” Trust me you will have an attentive audience. Our children do not desire perfect mothers, only real ones. Be transparent with your kids. Let them know you are NOT perfect and share your short comings. When our children see that we are truly humble, it is a lot easier for their hearts to be receptive and shaped by convictions that we share with them. Righting a wrong involves more than just saying “sorry” (use the 5A’s found in Young Peacemakers Series) You must admit what you did wrong, apologize for how your choices affected others, accept the consequences, ask for forgiveness, and alter your choices in the future. Lastly, make restitution, if necessary. Remember, children learn more from watching and we are setting an example. Lastly, when apologizing to small children, it helps to get down to their level and look them in the eye.
Feb9
Homemade Finger Paints
For My Mommy Friends
Jan30
A RICH Marriage
Four things I’ve learned over the years to cultivate a R. I. C. H. marriage.
(My notes from talk given at the Colorado Wholeheart Mom Conference 1/13/12)
Respect – In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “a wife must respect her husband.” I begin here because I wish I had known the value of respecting my sweet husband earlier in our marriage. I had been taught that respect was something you must earn. I wanted Jon to be the “spiritual leader” as that is what Christian husbands were suppose to be ☺ Ladies, do you know what it takes to be a leader? A Follower. And I honestly struggled with following. Many times I found myself running ahead of Jon.
I thought disrespect was yelling, belittling, hitting, or treating someone in a horrible way. However, some of the ways I showed Jon disrespect was challenging his decisions, correcting him in front of our girls, and always having an opinion. In my best efforts to inspire him I would often lecture on how to be healthier, how to be a better father, how to run his company better, the need to be involved with the girls schooling, the need to not work such long hours, etc… Many times I didn’t have to say a word to show my disrespect simply by giving him the look, crossing my arms, pouting, and slamming a door. Basically, whatever Jon was doing was not good enough. Unknowingly I was withholding respect thus he began withholding love so ever so slowly we began drifting apart and isolating. We finally went to counseling in 2005 because our older daughters approached Jon to say they felt our marriage was loveless. They noted that we rarely laughed, held hands or were affectionate towards one another. Marriage should be a reflection of Christ’s love & relationship with the church. We are called to be His image bearer. Obviously we were not bringing glory to God through our marriage. We got along very well but operated more as business partners than marriage partners. During a counseling session we had to confess ways we felt we had offended the other and I was convicted I needed to share the topic of disrespect. Jon was surprised, as he never really thought about his need for respect. I now believe that deep within all men is the need to be respected. After all, why would Paul say to wives “respect your husbands?” I listed all the ways I felt I had disrespected Jon over the years and he was emotionally overwhelmed. This was a huge turning point in our marriage.
Respecting Jon means affirming, noticing, encouraging, honoring, preferring, and esteeming him. Do I bless, praise, love and admire him? Respect means to value his opinion, to admire his strength, intellect, wisdom, and character and to appreciate his commitment to and involvement with our family and me. Wives should ask their husbands what respect looks like for them.
Investment/intentionality – We should be intentional. The more you are willing to invest the more you will get back. Make your marriage a priority. Our pastor once said, “you shouldn’t date to get married, you should get married to date!” When Jon is in town we try to have a date night/day weekly and an occasional weekend get away without the children.
o We purposed early in our marriage to invest every other year into our marriage. Some ways we have done so have been:
o Attending a marriage conference/seminar. It’s better to be proactive than reactive.
o Reading a book on marriage together.
o Praying together.
o Finding ways to serve one another.
o Participating in a group study related to marriage.
o These days we lead other couples through pre-martial counseling. We are responsible to share what God has taught us.
o Being mentored by an older/wiser couple.
o KEY: preventative maintenance is less costly than legal fees. Don’t let pride or your ego get in the way of asking for help. Godly counsel with accountability is invaluable if needed.
o Divorce was never an option. Adopt the attitude that until death do us part. Never use the D word. This understanding has helped us during the hard times. We are helpmates. As we have weathered the various storms of our marriage we realize that it was during the storms we grew closer to God and to each other.
Contentment – Paul said “I have learned to be content in Philippians 4:11” Contentment is a process that one must desire to learn. Would you like to live a life that isn’t dictated by your circumstances? Would you like to be able to say as Paul did, “”I too have learned to be content?
My remedy for contentment is cultivating gratitude. Several years ago I realize that Jon has the job he has, as it is a gift from God. His work is part of his mission field. Cultivating a heart of gratitude has greatly helped me to be content when he has to travel and/or work long hours.
Have FUN – Find new activities to do together. Some of our favorites have been biking, walking, and doing ministry TOGETHER. We are passionate about sharing with couples what we have learned. We enjoy doing ministry together and enjoy serving WholeHearted Ministry by attending their conferences and serving on the Board.
I’ll leave you with a quote by Lila Trotman, widow of Dawson Trotman, the founder of Navigators, which truly resonates with me. “Your husband will never truly be yours until you have first given him back to God. He is yours only when you are willing to let him go wherever God calls him and do what God wants him to do.”
Jan14
Coming Soon: The ABC’s of Being an Influential Mom series.
Once I accepted the challenge of blogging more often the next step was to figure out what I could share that would be of interest to others. Courtney, my daughter, implored me to share my heart and from my experiences. Eureka! I’d share from a talk I presented several years ago entitled, The ABC’s of Being an Influential Mom. Below is what you get to look forward to.
- A Admits when she is wrong and humbly seeks forgiveness and restoration.
- B Brightly shines as a role model her children desire to follow. Leads by example knowing more is caught than actually taught.
- C Communicates clearly and effectively with her children.
- …..
Stay tuned.