|An Influential Mother:||Bible References||
|Admits when she is wrong and humbly seeks forgiveness and restoration.||Ps 32:5; Eph. 4:32; Rm 3:23; 1 Jn 1:8; Mt 5:9||The Young Peacemakers Series by Ken Sande||Go to your children and ask them if there is anything you need to apologize for.What mistakes would you like to change as a parent?|
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8
Several years ago I shared with some moms the ABC’s of being an influential mother. Great information but an overload of content. How about if I share one principle and expand upon it weekly? This will give you time to apply the principle.
Currently I am taking Cayley, my daughter (10), through the Young Peacemakers Series. This is a resource that I highly recommend for every family as it teaches children (and moms) how to respond to conflict God’s way. We are going through about one booklet a week. I appreciate how when we struggle I can ask her, “Cayley, what is causing the quarrels between us? Is it that you want your way and you don’t get it?”
We have learned what conflict is and how to respond to it. It’s easy to learn but, oh my, putting it into practice can be hard but is worth the effort from my experience. I went through this same material with Caryn (23) and Courtney (21) when they were also ten. I even took some 5th/6th grade Sunday School girls though it and saw wonderful results.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
The first step to resolving conflict in a way that pleases God is to ADMIT (confess) what you did was wrong, then take responsibility for your sinful choices. This seems like an easy thing to do but honestly this was an area where I struggled for years as I felt being wrong was a weakness. However, the harder I tried to be perfect the more mistakes I made and this created frustration. It didn’t help that I grew up in a home where I can probably count on my hands the number of times I heard an apology given. My family dynamic was that parents are always right and must be in control.
I learned that its best to be real with my daughters, as the bible says we ALL sin and fall short of God’s glory. Romans 3:23 Some of the mistakes I have made with my girls were: being too harsh, being busy, getting angry, responding out of stress, being negative, being fearful, etc… Yes I have blown it on many occasions but I am so grateful that my sins DO NOT define me.
Big or small, everyone blows it now and then. One of the best admissions you’ll ever make to your child is, “I was wrong; I’m sorry; will you forgive me?” Trust me you will have an attentive audience. Our children do not desire perfect mothers, only real ones. Be transparent with your kids. Let them know you are NOT perfect and share your short comings. When our children see that we are truly humble, it is a lot easier for their hearts to be receptive and shaped by convictions that we share with them. Righting a wrong involves more than just saying “sorry” (use the 5A’s found in Young Peacemakers Series) You must admit what you did wrong, apologize for how your choices affected others, accept the consequences, ask for forgiveness, and alter your choices in the future. Lastly, make restitution, if necessary. Remember, children learn more from watching and we are setting an example. Lastly, when apologizing to small children, it helps to get down to their level and look them in the eye.